He Popped the Question, You Said “YES” – Now What?

The initial post-engagement stage is an exciting and exhilarating time that you should enjoy, glowing from the joy of finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with; you’re on your way! But be prepared for some dizzying, unexpected things. The holiday season is proposal time; approximately 18 percent of all proposals happen in December, which means January tends to be a month of thinking, wait… now what? By all means, take your time. But here is some advice as a wedding planner that those wedding books tend to overlook.

Enjoy all the well wishes but try to deflect all the endless questions.

You’ll be surprised by the flood of questions that follow your engagement. When are you getting married? Where are you getting married? Are you going to have a big or small wedding? Who are your bridesmaids? What are your colors? What kind of dress do you want? You name it; you will be asked it within minutes of telling family and friends about your engagement. Of course, friends and family are excited for you and want to know all the details but in the beginning, you don’t know what you’re doing — and you won’t for a while which is normal. While you are still trying to wrap your head around using the word fiancée without sounding pretentious, family members, friends and acquaintances will barrage you with questions that can be overwhelming. Of course, planning a wedding is exciting but can also feel overwhelming, like you have a demanding, part-time job on top of all of your other responsibilities. Many brides-to be absolutely loved planning their wedding, and there is a lot of enjoy. But it can be stressful.

So, in the early days, try to deflect all the questions with “We’re still deciding,” or “I’ll let you know when I know,” or “We’re just enjoying the engagement right now” until you’re both ready to start making plans.

While Pinterest is fun, establishing a budget is a must in the early stages of your engagement.  

Pinterest is an invaluable tool for planning your wedding. It will provide you an endless supply of style ideas, looks, themes, DIY projects, etc. But keep in mind, the majority of those pictures of “perfect” weddings are often as meticulously designed and created as the pages of a glamour magazine. That simple centerpiece idea has been curated by a set designer, art director, stylist, florist and other wedding professionals to make it all look so simple and affordable. By all means, pin things all day long, but don’t let it derail you from the reality of how expensive those ideas can be. Decide on your budget first and keep Pinterest in perspective, and you’ll have a healthier, more budget friendly approach to your wedding.

You will be shocked you how quickly venues get booked.

December is the biggest month for proposals. Therefore, venues start booking quickly come January. Trust me, you’ll be shocked when you walk into a venue someone told you about was this great “new” location. There will be five other couples there, and when you ask about dates nine months away, many may very well be booked. Venues are pricier than you’d think. As more couples look for alternative options for venues (old warehouses, barns, industrial lofts, renovated old buildings, old bank buildings, downtown lofts, libraries, museums, etc.), the wedding industry is on top of it. Choosing your venue will guide you in every other decision you make about your wedding (dress, number of guests, food, decorations, etc.). It will be one of the biggest decisions you make (and a pricey one unless you know people who own such places). Once you have your budget, start searching for venues. Ask your married friends, your family, or your planner and be assured you will find something perfect.

Decide when you want to get married, not when parents, planners or venues tell you to get married.

Once you get engaged, friends and family will come out of the woodwork with their opinions on when and where you should get married. The summer months tend to be the busiest because of the weather and people’s availability to travel. It has to be on a Saturday. You need at least a year to plan a wedding. These are commonly held myths and the reality is you can organize what you want, as quickly as you want. Getting married on a Friday or Sunday is usually dramatically cheaper (and there are more available dates). While everyone tells you it takes months and months to plan a wedding, realistically it can be planned in a shorter time, especially with the help of a professional wedding planner. Choose when and where that will make the two of you happy, and everybody else will fall in line.

Get the big stuff out of the way, then have fun with dresses.

While it’s fun to ask your friends to be bridesmaids, go wedding dress shopping, or visit possible wedding venues, it’s the nuts and bolts of the wedding that is best to focus on first. Once you determine how much you can spend, how much want to spend and make initial decisions based on that, it makes the smaller decisions much easier. If you’re having a small wedding on a family’s property, maybe eight bridesmaids are excessive. Get the big decisions out of the way — date, venue, budget — so you can really enjoy the fun stuff. Go wedding dress shopping as a treat to having made the harder, less glamorous decisions.