Think of your bridesmaids, as your Support Group, your A-team, your Wedding Day front line. Here are a few suggestions on choosing the just the right people.
Figuring out how to choose your bridesmaids can feel overwhelming, especially if you have a large group of friends, which you suddenly must narrow down. The good news is that bridal parties can range from a single maid or matron of honor to more than a dozen bridesmaids, so you can accommodate as many or as few friends as you want. But even once you finally settle on how many bridesmaids to have, there are a few details that you will want to consider, like your wedding budget, what you want your bridesmaids to wear, and if you want to include family members before officially asking them to be part of your special day. Here are a few important tips to remember when deciding how to choose your bridesmaids. And remember to take a deep breath—it’s not as hard as is may seem. We understand you have a lot to think about during the wedding planning process and choosing who will stand next to you on the special day is one of the most important decisions but fear not! Here are some guidelines to your frequently asked questions about how to pick your bridesmaids.
How many bridesmaids should I have?
According to The Knot 2021 Wedding Study, the average wedding party size is roughly four on either side, so you can use that as a guide when you decide how many bridesmaids to have. Depending on formality, you can go larger or smaller. For a smaller wedding with around 50 to 60 guests, we recommend no more than four bridesmaids. For a larger wedding of 150 guests or more, wedding parties with 10 to 12 bridesmaids are more appropriate.
Keep this in mind though, more isn’t always better. The more attendants you have, the more details to organize—for instance picking flattering wedding outfits for each attendant, planning a bachelorette party to accommodate 12 busy schedules, determining dates for bridal showers, brunches, dress fittings, etc. It’s also to keep in mind if you are on a limited budget, it’s best to have a small bridal party since you, the bride is responsible for some of your bridesmaids’ expenses. These may include the group’s bouquets, thank-you gifts, day-of transportation, accommodations and sometimes their hair and makeup.
Consider Family Members
If you’re close to your sister and future sister-in-law, the thought of not including them in your wedding party probably never crossed your mind. But if you aren’t close to your siblings, the thought of asking them to be in your party may not be what you want. Still, you should seriously consider including family to avoid unnecessary conflict or hurt feelings.
Don’t Assume
Being a bridesmaid isn’t always cheap, but you shouldn’t initially write off some friends simply because you don’t think they can afford the expenses that come with the position. If you want to ask a friend you know is having financial difficulties, you can always tell her you’d love her to be a bridesmaid but understand if they have to decline. If she has to decline, either remind her she’s welcome to skip the bridal luncheon or a shower. However, if she still insists on saying “no”(which she’s allowed to do), respect her decision.
Your Attendants Don’t Have to Be All Female
There’s no reason why your best guy friend or amazing brother can’t be in your wedding party. So many couples ask members of the opposite sex to stand by them. In these cases, a man on the bride’s side is simply called an attendant or brides-man, while a woman on the groom’s side can be called a grooms-woman.
You Can Have Two Maids of Honor
If you have two women you feel closest to, of course you want them both by your side on your wedding day. Just be sure to assign them maid of honor duties equally that play to their strengths.
You Don’t Have to Ask Someone Who Asked You
While you might feel guilty about it (which is completely understandable), it’s okay to not reciprocate the bridesmaid offer. Just because someone invited you to be in her wedding doesn’t mean that you must have them in yours. This isn’t a dinner party invitation you need to reciprocate. But remember to treat the situation with care, compassion and sensitivity.
Although choosing your bridesmaids can be a daunting task, remember that it’s your wedding! You need to be happy with how your special day goes, and your loved ones will be excited for you no matter who you choose.
